maharetr: Comic and movie images of Aisha's eyebrow ring (The Losers) (Default)
maharetr ([personal profile] maharetr) wrote2005-09-27 05:03 pm

Gakked from [profile] kradical



Top ten reasons why gay marriage is a baaaaaaaaaaaaaad idea. (Yes, this is satire.)

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans Australians always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behaviour. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America Australia.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Please post this in your journal if you are for gay marriage.
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[identity profile] black-samvara.livejournal.com 2005-09-27 09:28 am (UTC)(link)
I wonder if marrying your dog is cheaper than getting it licensed.

[identity profile] ascetic-hedony.livejournal.com 2005-09-27 09:38 am (UTC)(link)
Wouldn't it just be a different type of licence? Of course, a marriage doesn't need to be renewed every year...
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[identity profile] black-samvara.livejournal.com 2005-09-27 10:53 am (UTC)(link)
Exactly!

[identity profile] maharetr.livejournal.com 2005-09-27 12:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Random aside: I was 6 when my parents got married -- it was cheaper to do that than go through all the paperwork that made mum joint owner of the house, or something like that. I got the day off school and got to sign the certificate as a witness, no less :)
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[identity profile] black-samvara.livejournal.com 2005-09-27 12:38 pm (UTC)(link)
I was six months old, mother says I cried through the wedding.

[identity profile] juffles.livejournal.com 2005-09-27 10:09 am (UTC)(link)
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

*snort* haven't noticed anyone that I know getting any taller...
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[identity profile] black-samvara.livejournal.com 2005-09-27 10:53 am (UTC)(link)
It's having very short friends as well that's doing me in...

[identity profile] maharetr.livejournal.com 2005-09-27 12:23 pm (UTC)(link)
*scoff* Clearly, you are deficient in some way. Make me grow, damnit!

[identity profile] juffles.livejournal.com 2005-09-27 01:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh yeah, I'm the one who's deficient. I'm not the one who missed their second growth spurt due to reading slash. :p