Woman's voice: [pleasantly]: Hello, Vegemite helpline.
Caller: When's my wife's birthday?
WV: April 12.

WV: Hello, Vegemite helpline.
Caller: [pained groan]
WV: Lots of water, and lots of toast, spread it on thick.

WV: Hello, Vegemite helpline.
Caller: [tearfully] Where are my keys?
WV: They're in the washing basket.

Vegemite, you win so much! I've just spent the the last ten minutes or so trying to find that online. Does anyone have miraculous Google-fu?

WorkChoices ad that tries to tell us that our jobs are safe by portraying elderly mothers as morons? *snarls* Way to make me hate you even more.
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