Men and sexual desire?

[maharetr]

Right this moment, I'm listening to a radio program called Focus on the Family broadcast on SonShine FM (98.5). The program, as far as I can tell, is about sexual addiction. In a nutshell: men are hardwired by testosterone to want sex all the time (God made them this way!), and that therefore they cannot be expected to control that desire in such an eroticised society. The guy they're interviewing, the good Christian man who is helping all these guys fight sexual addiction says he has to look away in the cinema because he says he "cannot cope" with seeing a woman in a sexual context. And apparently, it's not God's fault for giving him all the testosterone, it's all culture's fault for being sexualised. They said that women live in a "haze and mist" of estrogene, and guys "live in a fog of testosterone", therefore women wouldn't get it.

How different are mens'/womens' sex drives, seriously? This is something I'm curious about. I first came across the idea (that someone genuinely believed that men got more horny than women) while talking to a Muslim guy (converted) who told me that women were emotional and were ruled by their emotions, men were rational and logical except when they got aroused where upon they immediately became... I don't think he actually used a word, but I'd take a stab at 'suddenly ruled by strong emotion'. Which was why it wasn't a choice for women to wear the hijab. Then again, this guy also thought it was perfectly rational for a woman to be stoned to death in Nigera because she had sex outside marriage.

I was going somewhere coherent with all this, but I'm in pain *and* curious, which is always a dangerous combination. Caution? To the wind! Any thoughts? studies? arousals? :D

Comments

[black-samvara.livejournal.com]

[shrug]

I've met both women and men with higher / lower sex drives than me and based on my own experience I'm inclined to believe that while men go into overdrive faster they have no monopoly on being obsessed with sex.

I also know plenty of men who've said no to sex because it wasn't the right time / didn't feel right / wasn't enough.

I think it's just a cheap way to get away with not learning basic social graces the same way a lot of people think 'I was drunk' is an excuse.

Is it true that the only reason the church acknowledges women have souls is because bestiality is forbidden?

[terrycat.livejournal.com]

Is it true that the only reason the church acknowledges women have souls is because bestiality is forbidden?
Rather harsh?

[black-samvara.livejournal.com]

Youthink?

[stormerider]

I've met both women and men with higher / lower sex drives than me and based on my own experience I'm inclined to believe that while men go into overdrive faster they have no monopoly on being obsessed with sex.

I consider mine to be high; that being said, I know of two women who have higher drives than my own.

I also know plenty of men who've said no to sex because it wasn't the right time / didn't feel right / wasn't enough.

Unfortunately, I've been in this position a lot of late...

[black-samvara.livejournal.com]

There is way too much variation in who chases who around the bedroom to start making claims about men having uncontrollable lusts - besides if it were genuinely the case all the countries who don't care would be pits of depravity and sin... oh wait!

Can I make jokes about you having at least assumed a position?

[maharetr.livejournal.com]

Yup, I'm with you on this one.

Is it true that the only reason the church acknowledges women have souls is because bestiality is forbidden?
Youch! I wouldn't put it past them!

On a serious note, for centuries the Catholic church used to be quite fine with abortion, as long as it was performed before the foetus got its soul ... and girl babies got their souls way later (80 days gestation) than the boy babies (40 days)...

[black-samvara.livejournal.com]

It is my belief that souls develop very slowly and some human shaped beings walking around have yet to acquire them.

On a more pleasant note - have I told exactly -how- much I love dried pineapple right now?

[terrycat.livejournal.com]

First off, men have testosterone. Women have testosterone. Men have estrogene. Women have estrogene. Basic biology... men and women have different levels of each, but they DO produce both.
Secondly, testosterone levels are linked to sex drive. BUT, it is not the be-all and end-all, even on the biological level. There are a hundred purely biological factors that we've found so far that do affect it. And we are humans; we pride ourselves on having moved on past being just a set of hardwired reactions.
Thirdly (or second-and-a-halfly), "God... [gave] him all the testosterone". Fair enough. According to his dogma, God also gave him free will. I remember something I heard a long time ago. A psychologist was talking to a schitzophrenic and asked what the voices he heard were telling him to do right now. The schitzophrenic answered "they're telling me to kill you". When asked why he wasn't acting on this, he replied "But that would be wrong". Blaming biology is all very well and good, but in the final analysis, it's still the person who makes the decisions.

[maharetr.livejournal.com]

Secondly, testosterone levels are linked to sex drive. BUT, it is not the be-all and end-all, even on the biological level....Blaming biology is all very well and good, but in the final analysis, it's still the person who makes the decisions.

Yup, preaching to the converted, here :D